Freaky Mother’s Day Card

Freaky Mother’s Day Card

Making my mother happy isn’t that hard to do. I’m going to amend that. Making my mother happy on Mother’s Day isn’t hard to do. We’re not a greeting card kind of family. In fact, when I was a kid, both my parents declared Mother’s and Father’s Day were invented by Hallmark, so we shouldn’t […]

My First Job: A Found Diary Entry

My First Job: A Found Diary Entry

Nothing is more tragic than forcing a privileged seventeen year old to experience working life. The shock can be fatal. Digging through my computer, in a folder labelled “Creativo,” I found a word document from 2003. In this document I detail the horrors of my first job. I was forced to sell candy to tourists […]

Proud Moments in Adulthood: Milk Foot

Proud Moments in Adulthood: Milk Foot

At the beginning of each new year, there’s a scary window of self reflection that thankfully closes at the beginning of February. I haven’t made any major goals or resolutions, but I have been startled by several incidents that make me think I should be looking at the most basic building blocks of my life. […]

Dog Brother

Dog Brother

I’m an only child. It’s a dirty secret. When people find out they make a face and say, “Oh,” like I’ve just told them I collect dolls. In some ways I guess it is a quasi-significant revelation. Only childhood explains some of my personality. I share well, but I struggle with boundaries (in college I […]

Top Secret

Top Secret

I’ve kept a journal of some sort since age eight, when I read Harriet the Spy. Over the weekend I went home to Santa Cruz, and I was certain I’d find some comic gold in those journals. After all, I was spying on my neighbors, determined to catch them at some heinous crime. Mostly I […]

Tribal Behavior

Tribal Behavior

I’ve lived long enough to learn that everyone’s family is weird, but I’m pretty sure that your family hasn’t communally defecated. We’re not proud of this, and it’s always happened under special circumstances, but it’s happened more than once. It should be noted that we’re also a family of almost all women, so this whole […]