Atrocious Torture & Terror

Atrocious Torture & Terror

Dearest readers,
It’s been a while since we last communed via the written word, and I’ll tell you whose to blame, the man (and Netflix). I recently moved, and I foolishly assumed I could call AT&T, place an order and receive service. I ordered internet on August 10th. They were supposed to set up high-speed internet on my birthday, August 14th. They failed, a bad sign for my 24th year, so I called….

Dealing with Dinosaurs

Dealing with Dinosaurs

The signs look bad, literally. The laminated signs I’ve crookedly affixed to the walls keep falling off. This week, and this week alone, laminated signs hold power over me. Every time I walk by them, they fall, like they’ve been waiting for their cue. I put them back, hoping that this time the tape will take, and as soon as I turn my back, they fall off

Toilet Vigilante

Toilet Vigilante

The toilet vigilante calls twice a day to report on the ladies restroom on her office floor…

Car of Shame

Car of Shame

In LA you are what you drive, so I am a piece of a shit. I drive a 1990 Toyota Corolla. It has personality: the left side leaks when it rains, allowing the growth of fragrant mold, and the left passenger door handle is broken (I named it the rape door). I prefer to think […]

It’s Temporary

It’s Temporary

I’m not sure why I avoided the inevitable for so long, but finally I became an office temp. The tests the temp agency put me through took four hours. I was given Word, Excel, safety, and receptionist exams. The safety exam determined if I understood gravity and the perils of heavy lifting. The receptionist exam […]