Farewell, My Colleagues

Farewell, My Colleagues

Dearest Beloved Colleagues, It is with a heavy heart that I announce that I have accepted a job at a much better company and will now be earning twice as much as you. It has been a privilege to work here and with all of you, but I have grown too big for this small pond, and […]

Teeth Lady

Teeth Lady

The teeth lady fills me with rage and then pity. She’s the teeth lady because two times a day (there could be more we don’t know about) she cleans her entire mouth in the office bathroom. My co-worker will pass by my desk and say “Teeth Lady’s in there.” It’s a kind of warning, but […]

Unprofessional Interview: College

Unprofessional Interview: College

I’ve always struggled with the interview process because I forget that we’re not just getting to know each other. Sometimes this hasn’t been completely my fault. When I interviewed for Sarah Lawrence (I wanted to go to all those girly east coast schools), they had an alumna meet me in San Francisco. I showed up […]

Office Twitter

Office Twitter

Executive Courtney Sharpe-Henrickson re-organizes her office furniture, so that she has more light. #goodidea! Snack cabinet restocked! By popular demand, we did not order @MilanoCookies this time. #watchthosewaistlines. Copy room stapler jammed. If you are guilty, please fix it. Executive Fred Gold drinks entire case of Diet Coke while brokering the Shaunassy deal!! @JohnMayerson29 wins […]

Floor Warden

Floor Warden

Nothing ruins a bran muffin like news of impending doom….

Intern Memo

Intern Memo

Dear Interns, In order to receive school credit you must fulfill all of your intern duties, including emptying the trash, loading the dishwasher, filling the copier, recycling, and fetching anything (especially edible items) anybody asks you to get. Although these aren’t the glamorous parts of the industry, they are necessary, vital elements of running a […]