Things Parents Will Say When You Sit on Their Couch
Mom: Shouldn’t you be writing a movie or something?
Dad: Don’t go to sleep this early.
Dad: Your brother’s barking at the back door…
Mom: Did you want to take that walk or are you still vegetating?
Mom: You’re over me, right? I can leave now?
Dad: I stop myself after three bowls of rice chips. I’m not allergic to rice. Just all other carbohydrates and seasonings.
Mom: We can go to Stinson Beach depending on when we put the cat to sleep.
Mom: Here’s tea. I know you didn’t want it, but here’s some Oolong.
Dad: Well, looks like you’ll be thirty when you have to face a Republican controlled government.
Dad and Mom: Have you been through the boxes in your room?
Dad: You’ve got a lot of nerve. I’m going to blog about you!
Dad: Haven’t we seen this movie already?
Dad: I assumed you wouldn’t want to watch it because of the subtitles.
Mom: Nothing too violent. Oh god, he’s got a gun!
Dad: Just pick something!
Mom: Look the grown child is here.
Dad: She’s hardly ever here.
Mom: But she leaves on Tuesday.
Mom: Should we have Mexican for dinner? You know they don’t do phone orders anymore.