TGI Friday’s

How did you prepare for TGI Friday’s?

Camille: The Yelp reviews were particularly dramatic, implying that something nefarious was happening at this TGI Friday’s. They suggested that the servers were part of a plot to humiliate and shame customers, and that there’s a singles scene at the bar where older men prey on young, virtuous women. Several reviews implied that this has something to do with the fact that this TGI Friday’s is in Crenshaw, a neighborhood Dr. Dre often mentions. I’d never been to Crenshaw, so I was hyper self-conscious and filled with white guilt. Tamar just wanted appetizers.

Tamar: That’s not entirely true. I did think about my outfit. Camille has insisted every time that we wear clothes in keeping with the theme of the restaurant, and I always forget. This time I was dead set on wearing stripes like she wanted, but then after reading all the reviews I got nervous. All my striped clothes are just TOO SEXY. So I went with a cardigan with a large print.

C: Good call. Smaller prints are known to attract older men.

T: Is that why you wore cats?

C: That cat dress attracts everyone.

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Camille Eats Ribs

How was the decor experience?

C: I think we both agree this is the best decor yet.

T: They were certainly not stingy!

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C: I mean, flair everywhere! All kinds of things all over the walls: a hoarder’s paradise!

T: Though, I wish there was some kind of uniting theme. I mean what do “E.T.”, a pool table, and a photo homage to jazz musicians have in common?

C: That’s called being cool and artistic.

T: But it’s TGI Friday’s?

C: We’ve discovered something extraordinary–a hamlet of orginality hidden within a corporate prison.

What did you order?

T: We rode all the way to APP-TOWN!!!! TOOT-TOOT!!

C: Toot-toot is right. Get it. It’s a fart joke.

T: And it stinks.

C: Zing! Tonight was Tamar’s treat, and she said, “Camille whatever you want! Let’s go crazy!”

T: What my baby wants my baby gets. Especially when what my baby wants is appetizers to share.

C: So we got an App Sampler-

T: Which is mozzarella sticks, buffalo wings, and “Loaded Potato Skins.”

C: Fully loaded. Packing heat. But that wasn’t enough for us. We also got the Jack Daniel’s Sampler –

All kinds of dead animals

All kinds of dead animals

T: Which is Jack Daniel’s BBQ Ribs, Cajun Fried Shrimp with Jack Daniel’s Sauce, and Sesame Asian Chicken in Jack Daniel’s sauce.

C: Jack Daniel’s dishes are not alcoholic. Which is disappointing and could be considered false advertising. But what they weren’t lying about is the White Cheddar Spicy Beef Queso Skillet.

T: It’s a skillet of cheese. They will just bring you a pan of melted cheese.

Tamar tests the skillet out

Tamar tests the skillet out

C: It was a powerful and bold order on Tamar’s part.

T: Mama knows what mama likes!

C: Why are you talking like that right now?!

T: It’s TGI Friday’s! I’m lettin’ loose!

But how was it all?

C: All the Jack Daniel’s stuff was pretty decent. Not sure what Jack Daniel’s contributed to the meal. Was he known for his cooking?

T: I’ll do some research on that. I’m fascinated by the man.

C: Any man who can make sesame chicken like that.

T: The chicken tasted like Panda Express. And anytime I can get Panda Express flavor without the shame of eating at Panda Express, that’s a good thing.

C: Agreed.

T: The mozzarella sticks did not disappoint…at first.

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C: But then they turned on you.

T: Well the cheese cooled, and the mozzarella stick became like…a stick. It lost it’s ooey-gooey-ness and became, like, gross-ish.

C: And the Loaded Potato Skins needed ketchup.

T: In a restaurant, nothing should ever NEED ketchup. You’re doing it wrong.

C: French fries need ketchup. I decided the potato skins were just the best and biggest french fries ever, and I was happy.

That seems like a lot of food!

T: But that’s not all!

C: It’s worth noting that up to this point, according to the menu, our meal was about 4000 calories.

T: And we pretty much ate all of it.

C: But there was dessert to be had!

T: And we had it!

C: Still trying to get a buzz, I went for the Tennessee Whiskey Cake. It comes in a skillet, which is made of ceramic, so it’s an imitation skillet. But the cake was really good, one of the best things we tried, but I was so full; I couldn’t get it down. That’s a first for me and dessert.

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False skillet

T: I went for a child’s Dirt Cup.

C: Yeah it was weird. Tamar went out into the parking lot, found some kids playing in the dirt and stole one of their dirt cups. I was all, “That’s not dessert behavior, Tamar.” Then I was like, “Kids, go find a real playground.”

T: Camille, everyone knows that a Dirt Cup is an edible dessert made out of chocolate pudding, gummi worms and Oreo crumble.

C: I thought this was our big discovery.

T: Well, it is a TGI Friday’s speciality. You can’t get it in other restaurants! And P.S. You CANNOT take that home. It doesn’t last.

C: Just like the magic of childhood.

Tamar eats dirt

Tamar eats dirt

How was your waiter? What was the “scene” like?

C: Out waiter was great – very attentive.

T: He was only a LITTLE judgmental when I ordered my Dirt Cup.

C: He was just impressed by your fun loving sass. This TGI Friday’s was the first chain restaurant we’ve been to that has really been embraced by its neighborhood. It was happening. People were dressed up and there to be seen. We were put in the far corner, so we couldn’t really join the fun.

T: I was fine with that. This is the only restaurant we’ve been to that had its own security guard out front.

C: It felt safe though, so maybe it was just because of the bar. Every bar has a bouncer. Those singles were living it up! Drinking Platinum Mojitos and laughing. We watched from a far, stuffing fried food into our faces. It was like watching the CW at home with cookie dough.

T: Then we discussed casting diversity on SNL in the parking lot.

C: And I got self-conscious again.

T: Because let’s just say it. We were the only white people there.

Would you go back?

C: Yes! The decor and desserts won me over. But of course, I didn’t pay. If I’d had to pay, I probably would change my mind.

T: Yeah, you would. I’m not going back.

Where are you off to next?

C: Two clues: Wings an–

T: BOOOOOOOOOBBBIIIEEES!!!!!

1 Comment

  1. […] In 2013, the walls of a Los Angeles Friday’s were covered in layers of stuff. (Via Excellent Notion) […]

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