Characters Part 3

All of these are from real audition notices. Welcome to my world:

Actresses, must be comfortable with: Wearing sexy golf attire, swinging a club confidently, driving a golf cart down the fairway. Sexy golf attire?

CANDY – 25-33, any ethnicity. A local Los Angeles stripper, she’s Jacks love interest. Raised by her grandparents Candy left home early to seek a career as a actress, she’s a great golfer. Naturally.

PEOPLE WHO CAN FLATULATE ON DEMAND – Seeking people who can flatulate on demand. Professional or not, someone who can pass gas on cue. MUST be the real deal. Professional?

ROACHES IN MOUTH – Lead/Male or Female/18-99/All Ethnicities
Someone to safely putting cockroaches in their mouth. Must be able to provide photo or video proof that you have experience doing this. **Please submit a note explaining why you are right for this. Only submissions with notes will be considered.** Yes, please explain yourself.

PECKER – 30’s – 40’s, black male, The local pimp. Cool, Black and Smooth as silk. Pecker?

WOW! Who knew???

Gorgeous love interest who’s physical beauty is hidden early in the story behind timid style, and out of date eye glasses. Happens every time.

We’re looking for actors who have mastered the art of ‘Scare.’ What is the art of ‘Scare?’ How do I master it?

TREE MONSTER – Male or Female / Principal / All Ethnicities / 18 – 99: Aerielist/Trapese Experienced Actor. Tree Monster: Poised in the treetops above, it stalks the noisy mammal below. Springing from the trees, it grabs its prey, takes it back to his perch, gorging itself on the victims flesh. Must be available all 17 days! “Tree Monster” looks good on any resume. Also, I want to see a 99 year old Tree Monster.

TRACTOR DRIVER – Male or Female / Principal / All Ethnicities / 18 – 99
Looking to interview EXPERIENCED Tractor Drivers only! Please list your experience when submitting. This is for the Haunted Hayride…I’m not sure how it’s an acting job.

OVERWEIGHT FEMALE VICTIM – Supporting, Female / All Ethnicities / Ages 25 – 55. A determined overweight woman who takes the drug and works out in her living room only to die from the effects of the drug. “We want you to be fat and die.”

MUSCULAR HAMBURGER MAN – Supporting, Male / All Ethnicities / Ages 28 – 45. He haunts our chubby detective’s hallucinations. With a great, muscular body and a hamburger head (costume provided), he fights with our lead. Muscular Hamburger Man and Overweight Female Victim are from the same project. Thank goodness you don’t have to bring your own hamburger head!

There’s more:
Characters Part 1, and Part 2


  1. tdstevens says:

    Het please tell me you saw this one:

    “A comedy web series based on good ol’ fashion home cookin’, humor and big boobs.
    [ FEMALE ]
    20-35, any ethnicity, strong improv, need not know how to cook or bake. Your breasts will be featured in every shot. This is a comedy so you must be okay with that. No Nudity or semi-nudity what so ever!”

    It’s a cooking show, but it’s not important if you know to cook or bake – so long as you’ve got the breasts to back it up.

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