Something’s Off at Anthropologie

Something’s Off at Anthropologie

Someone at Anthropologie got tired of the girly aprons and scented candles and crossed over to the dark side. Is it a cry for help? At least the prices are on brand. Red Beast Hat Stand, $514.95Is it a hat or scalp?   Stag Head, $1899.95 (was $3,800.00). For the serial killer look. Woolen Finger Puppets, … Continue reading

Best of SkyMall: Late Spring 2014

Best of SkyMall: Late Spring 2014

I’m positive that purchasing this vacuum cleaner is a red flag for all sorts of psychological issues. But the fact that you can get a “His and Hers” deal excites me. I hate sharing vacuum nozels with my partner. I wonder if it comes in pink? If you squint and read closely, the endorsement quote says … Continue reading

Morning Selfies

Morning Selfies

1) Marie Antoinette   2) The Disgust   3) Focus   4) The Pain   5) The Corpse   6) The Renaissance   7) The Monster

How I Survived The March 2014 LA Quakes

How I Survived The March 2014 LA Quakes

There were two earthquakes this March in Los Angeles. The first one woke me and my boyfriend Eric up at about 6:30am, and it felt like the big one–the earthquake I’ve been hearing about my whole Californian life. My poor boyfriend’s a recent Chicago transplant, so it’s up to me to terrify him and patronizingly … Continue reading

Commuting with Your Parents

Commuting with Your Parents

Every evening, as I start my commute home, I call my parents. It’s a nightly call that I blame on LA traffic because I’m uncomfortable admitting the truth–I am really close with my parents. I can’t help it. They’re really good company, so it took me until my late twenties to realize that being best … Continue reading

Hooters

Hooters

What were you expecting? Tamar: Boobs. Camille: Chest cones. T: She means boobs. Were you disappointed? C: No, but so many people who find this post via a search engine will be. There were breasts there. There usually are in every restaurant, but I was expecting a place dedicated to the consumption of hot babes and … Continue reading

Tips for a New You

Tips for a New You

Tell everyone you know that things are really changing this time. It’s 2014 and you mean business. Open all of your mail. Recycle the junk mail and then figure out where to put all the important shit. When you can’t, make a nice pile on your kitchen table. When you exercise, tweet about it. Everyone … Continue reading

TGI Friday’s

TGI Friday’s

How did you prepare for TGI Friday’s? Camille: The Yelp reviews were particularly dramatic, implying that something nefarious was happening at this TGI Friday’s. They suggested that the servers were part of a plot to humiliate and shame customers, and that there’s a singles scene at the bar where older men prey on young, virtuous women. … Continue reading