10 Tips for the Holidays

10 Tips for the Holidays

Get it together already. Thanksgiving is practically here, and beyond us is that booze and butter marathon ominously called “the holidays.” We do this every year, people, but some of us still struggle to excel. So, I’m going to help you out. Do not assign important Thanksgiving foods to relatives and friends who can’t cut it. Thanksgiving is a … Continue reading

Women In Clothes

Women In Clothes

I wrote (a very little) something for Women in Clothes. “Through original interviews, conversations, surveys, projects, diagrams and drawings from over six hundred contributors – including Miranda July, Cindy Sherman, Elif Batuman, Mac McClelland, Molly Ringwald, Rachel Kushner, Roxane Gay and Sarah Nicole Prickett – Women in Clothes explores the wide range of motives that inform how women … Continue reading

A Sizzler in Hollywood

A Sizzler in Hollywood

My people are not Sizzler people. Maybe this is why I have always coveted the place, treating it like an exotic locale with plasticky mac and cheese. We went there once when I was a child (maybe my dad had a coupon?) and I was sold. The idea of unlimited food can deeply warp a child’s … Continue reading

Nobody Cares About Your Workout

Nobody Cares About Your Workout

I don’t want to hear about your workout. It will just make me insecure. But I do want you to listen to me talk about my workout. Do you know that I’ve started doing Pilates? This happened because the Yoga studio near my house turned out to be the chanting only kind. The teacher mysteriously wore … Continue reading

Something’s Off at Anthropologie

Something’s Off at Anthropologie

Someone at Anthropologie got tired of the girly aprons and scented candles and crossed over to the dark side. Is it a cry for help? At least the prices are on brand. Red Beast Hat Stand, $514.95Is it a hat or scalp?   Stag Head, $1899.95 (was $3,800.00). For the serial killer look. Woolen Finger Puppets, … Continue reading

Best of SkyMall: Late Spring 2014

Best of SkyMall: Late Spring 2014

I’m positive that purchasing this vacuum cleaner is a red flag for all sorts of psychological issues. But the fact that you can get a “His and Hers” deal excites me. I hate sharing vacuum nozels with my partner. I wonder if it comes in pink? If you squint and read closely, the endorsement quote says … Continue reading

Morning Selfies

Morning Selfies

1) Marie Antoinette   2) The Disgust   3) Focus   4) The Pain   5) The Corpse   6) The Renaissance   7) The Monster